Editor's Note: This article originally appeared in Kerux, a Calvin Theological Seminary publication.
It was just over a year ago when I found myself in a men’s Bible study, getting ready to start a year-long study through the book of Revelation. As is par for the course with most studies, we started off with discussing the setting, audience, and author. I innocuously asked the group if they believed John the Beloved Apostle penned Revelation or if it was perhaps John the Elder, as some contemporary theological scholars currently argue.
I felt committed to the group, so I tried my best to move on and continued attending the study and asking less provocative questions. Over the weeks, however, the experience kept nagging at me. I realized in hindsight that the nagging feeling was the Holy Spirit nudging me to not cast aspersions on this group, but rather to take the leap of faith into more advanced study of the Bible and theology by actually applying to seminary.
The application process took me several months and I really leaned on Proverbs 15:22 (NKJV) which reads, “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” Two friends that offered counsel that I wanted to highlight are both named Tim.
The first Tim has been my best friend since high school, and also holds a Masters of Divinity and a Masters of Theology from Trinity Evangelical Divinity School. He’s been advocating to me for a long time to pursue higher education, and was so excited when I told him I was exploring Calvin.
The second Tim, who was my spiritual director from 2021-2022, is an alumni of Calvin, was the person who unintentionally propelled me towards Calvin by recommending the book Glittering Vices by Rebecca K. DeYoung to me. That book was such a blessing to me during a pivotal time in my life, so I became curious about where Dr. DeYoung taught. After noticing she taught at Calvin University, I wondered, “Well maybe they have a seminary too?” I reached out to Dr. DeYoung via email and she was incredibly quick in replying and graciously connected me with Ruan Bessa Da Silveira in the admissions office. After my phone call with Ruan, I knew without a shadow of a doubt the Lord wanted me to set aside the other schools I was exploring and put all my focus on Calvin. In hindsight, my journey to Calvin was a bit abnormal but it was amazing to see God use the Tims, Dr. DeYoung, and Ruan to establish my steps towards Calvin Theological Seminary. On April 17, 2025 I found myself being accepted into the MABT program at the ripe-old age of 38 – an age that, honestly, feels kind of old for starting something new.
I’ve been putting off seminary for probably 10+ years as I’ve journeyed through various forms of vocational ministry (primarily campus ministry at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign). And while I’m not 100% certain what was holding me back, hindsight has been hinting to me that I needed some time to marinade in the story of God found in His Scriptures and witness first-hand how theology plays out on the ground amongst the college students Jesus had called me to shepherd. (Full disclosure: I think I was also scared of having homework again.)
As I’m on the precipice of starting seminary this month, I realize that I required that experience at the men’s Bible study to fully illuminate to me that I needed to place myself in an environment where questions about authorship (and the myriad other primary, secondary and tertiary theological questions that fascinate me) are not just welcomed but encouraged. I’m so excited the Lord placed me in a community like Calvin where I can dive deep into the Bible and theology.
Admittedly, I do feel a little nervous about starting school again in my late 30s after a 15+ year hiatus. I’ve already noticed how different things are technologically than they were in the early aughts, and I’ve daily been second guessing my decision to buy a 3-ring binder from Staples, because all the cool kids will probably be paperless with cloud files on their tablets (the iPad kind, not the Moses kind). Generational anxiety aside, it has been nice to know that no one is forcing me to attend seminary, and I’m really able to do this from a place of passion, curiosity, and enrichment. I really feel like I’m positioned to give 100% to my studies and have acquired a level of spiritual gentleness that wasn’t present in my early-20s and may have been a disservice to me as a younger theologian.
As I’ve been reflecting on some of my apprehensions about my agedness in seminary, I was reminded of the story in Genesis 18 where Sarah laughs at God and questions His ability to fulfill His promises. During a moment of doubt Sarah struggles to believe that she’ll ever have a child, and whispers to herself, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?” (Gen. 18:12). God’s loving rebuke in the following verse has been a source of peace to me as He rhetorically asks, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Gen. 18:14). As we all know, the answer to the Lord’s question was and is “no.”
Nothing is too hard for the Lord, especially helping a guy like me in his late-30s with being able to do a good job at seminary. As we see later on in Genesis, God fulfills His promise through the birth of Isaac. I hope Sarah’s story is a helpful reminder to us all, regardless of our ages, that nothing is too hard for the Lord and He will ultimately be the one to carry us all through the highs and lows of academia this semester.